Weird queries
Being stuck in an airport with nothing to do for a while, I thought I'd go over some of the weird queries that bring people to my page, in an attempt to answer their questions. All these queries are real queries!
"cycling and tonsillitis": Not a good idea to cycle with tonsillitis. I don't think you'll catch it from cycling, though, unless you start riding your bike through a hospital or something.
"cassette freewheel wireless": I don't think there are any wires in a cassette or freewheel, so by definition they're wireless.
"max speed bicycle drafting": 152 miles per hour, I think. I usually top out at 40km/hr or so since the buses don't go any faster than that, unless I catch a nice big truck or minivan.
"what does rain at times heavy mean": It means, "you're going to get wet if you go outside". Really.
"full length mirror walmart in halifax nova scotia": boggle
"sleeping around in nova scotia": not me.
"wheel squeal after rain": it means your wheel is wet, and your brake pad is drying off the rim.
"biking times nova scotia": Any time is biking time in Nova Scotia.
"halifax garbage day": The official recommendation is, "ask your neighbour when garbage day is, as they should know". Seriously.
"car running unattended in nova scotia?": Stick a potato in the exhaust?
"spanging videos": I have no idea what spanging is, and I probably don't want to.
"coax cost per km": Per kilometre?!
"no special pants brooks saddle b67": No, no special pants, though you might find the dye rubs off newer saddles. Mrs Pants might know more, though.
"care for bruised stomach": Stop running into stuff?
"she revved": Oh, I'm sure she did...
"mec low rider pannier installation instructions": they're still not giving instructions? It's a bugger, isn't it? Be prepared to put the rack on and take it off a couple of times before you get it just right (don't forget to test it out with an MEC pannier). Also, a couple of strips of inner tube are handy for shims on the fork.
And, just as I finished typing that last one in, my flight got called. Great timing!
"cycling and tonsillitis": Not a good idea to cycle with tonsillitis. I don't think you'll catch it from cycling, though, unless you start riding your bike through a hospital or something.
"cassette freewheel wireless": I don't think there are any wires in a cassette or freewheel, so by definition they're wireless.
"max speed bicycle drafting": 152 miles per hour, I think. I usually top out at 40km/hr or so since the buses don't go any faster than that, unless I catch a nice big truck or minivan.
"what does rain at times heavy mean": It means, "you're going to get wet if you go outside". Really.
"full length mirror walmart in halifax nova scotia": boggle
"sleeping around in nova scotia": not me.
"wheel squeal after rain": it means your wheel is wet, and your brake pad is drying off the rim.
"biking times nova scotia": Any time is biking time in Nova Scotia.
"halifax garbage day": The official recommendation is, "ask your neighbour when garbage day is, as they should know". Seriously.
"car running unattended in nova scotia?": Stick a potato in the exhaust?
"spanging videos": I have no idea what spanging is, and I probably don't want to.
"coax cost per km": Per kilometre?!
"no special pants brooks saddle b67": No, no special pants, though you might find the dye rubs off newer saddles. Mrs Pants might know more, though.
"care for bruised stomach": Stop running into stuff?
"she revved": Oh, I'm sure she did...
"mec low rider pannier installation instructions": they're still not giving instructions? It's a bugger, isn't it? Be prepared to put the rack on and take it off a couple of times before you get it just right (don't forget to test it out with an MEC pannier). Also, a couple of strips of inner tube are handy for shims on the fork.
And, just as I finished typing that last one in, my flight got called. Great timing!
posted by steve at 9/25/2006 07:33:00 am
5 Comments:
Hope you had a good flight!
Reviewing keywords is always good for a laugh, you totally take the prize for the craziest keywords though "caring for bruised stomache" and "Halifax garbage day"... wtf?
Here's a little airport drinking game for you:
Take a drink when you see:
- Someone reading "The Davinci Code".
- Anyone with fresh seafood from the Clearwater stand downstairs (Halifax airport only).
- Anyone admiring the crazy taxidermied cat/cougar thing (Halifax airport only).
- Travelers who look like they have strategically packed everything in carry on sized bags to avert checking luggage.
- Anyone wearing hawaiian shirts or "resort attire".
- Any sports team, they look like your average roving gang of young'uns except with better coordinated attire.
Finish your drink if you see:
- Someone denied boarding (especially if they're drunk!)
- Anyone stealthily gobbling tranquilizer pills. Mmm, blurry!
- Someone folding/unfolding paper nervously.
- Security heading towards you with a dissaproving look on their face...
The airport isn't really a good place for a drinking game I suppose, but it is an awesome place to people watch.
Mr. Pants and I were at the airport last spring and we saw this dude that looked like had just stepped out of the 1970's with the biggest, heaviest looking old school laptop I'd ever seen. It was the size of a typewriter! I swear, if Herbert Kornfeld were a real person, he would have been that guy.
I should have asked him for his autograph.
Alas, I was leaving early enough that the bar wasn't even open (and giving presentations after downing a few is never a great idea, I find). I saw a whole bunch of people with Rolling Stones gear on, but that was about it...
Also, the bar in Saint John airport is about as sucky as it gets. It consists of a fridge underneath the counter stocking Keith's, Clancy's, Oland's and more Keith's. Not wanting to face an evening of raging indigestion, I passed...
Also Aliant wanted me to pay for wireless access there. I really must set up a DNS tunnelling VPN on one of my machines to get around that irritating little requirement...
According to the Urban Dictionary Spanging, alas, is quite bland:
Spanging, v.
The act of asking for spare change.
Why someone would want a video of that baffles me, but there you go - there's a market for everything.
J.
I tend to get a lot of people looking for "gay nerd wet pants picture".
This really disturbs me.
Searching for spanging videos on Google gives a real hodgepodge of results, I didn't think to check for just spanging. For better or for worse, however... I am (for now) the #1 result on Google for spanging videos.
I suppose at least Knox has me beat on the oddball query front, though!
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